..bacK in your Name!

Duno wat u are for me.. But getting back means like I got my world back.. I've missed u wen nites pasd wdout u close.

.ask d fallen tears along for d proof!

They know wat u meant wen I shoved u n had only them to share along.. They fall again 2day wen ur back dancin wd d joy I feel of having you near to me.. My heart screamed ur name thousand times I looked for a frn around.. Its silent 2day wen ur back taking breaths of sigh n watching my blood again flow by in ur name.. Hands empty cursing dat I lost support I had in you.. I confide in you lost trust! I put back in you love that I snatched .

Free so I flow~

Feel NO no-beat!

Know cried did not alone…

I feared to love you…

Dat tym al was love that I could feel for you..

This is always wat I begged you for

Thn y this moment YOU is I crave for??

2 shots couldn’t get me High u c..

Wat love now you want from me?

I say I’m sorry for what I made you go thru..

Burning ciggs,spillin Vod n dropping off ur life….mite be truth forever!

A break ON this day..

A break off the year..

A break dat I craved!

Do I really love to break?

My heart aches….

Cant leave you no-love!

My pup n nay ov ma soul~

Know can’t love you like dat…

But u know way my heart is all your…

I sit n crave for you O now…

Love-lost n I loathe no-more of you now…

Come-back-words I hear from me now..

Drank cof n feel so fresh about US Now!!

Maybe like run….. n hug n feel u-

Always like MINE so u be now!

Physi yeah! But dat was WAY we always stayed…

Feel no shy baby…Come! Love! And make me dat High! Baby…

All still.. I niche for you…

Back no I want another hitch by you!

Free to flow without sign of Glee or Glow;

i'm putting a final Stop to this LuSty-affair Now!

23.09.09

(evening)

Feeble Deeds~

Its like a string of WrongS that I’m lapped up into..

Feeble all my deeds stringing chain-full of SinS…

N I got to choose btwn lesser-considered Sin!

Un -effecting Affects…

Crawling without a beat…

Crashing- on a lease!

Ever rising water beneath my feet..

What have I culminated into??

Being lost least effects…

Being crowded n F*c*ed at Best!

They creep up all on my skin…

Cent flites hovering above all day!

By doing most loathed by things I find myself lil laugh …

Need a base, a standing or support!

Tried enuff to shove in btwn all those -

Many a people or relation crap- no count!

Indecisiveness held me btwn random or regular act…

These tears of solitude I cry with

is not what I deserve…. not-now infact !!

Celebate(d) dayS ~

Sinking into DepthS of BlueS.

Loosing on every person I called mine. .

Scattered like seeds no perfect no defined

but all of 'em were Mine..

I let Go off..

otherz let me off!

jus a matter of weekend n i lay all empty handed here...

Sinking into these darker loopholes of life..

I knw this day oughta come smday..

I need 2b heard out ..!

wanna talk aloud...!!

No sipper around

neither talking- talkie i found..

I get bk no-ears for me ..

Sinking in Depths of shady Hues..

smtyms old smtyms new

wrapped in conciuos infinity I lay

with thoughts scattered amidst those Clueless BlueS ~

Graduate Blues~

It always ends up happening good. .
But 'Good' that doesnt let me feel all that 'Good'. .
Entangled strands twisted around; drained out my brains!
Squashed up bitter juices. .
I'm Dead; been so for years, just fake-up living for others!
Slow poison slurping down my throat; Hapinees-Blues make feel all Bloat!

Double-shOt espressO~hallowed by thy name!!

2 shots 2day kept my worries at bay.
2 shots a day leaves u gigglin al d way.
2 shots 2day brought happy dent smile our way.
2 shots a day brings sorrows on surface n shoo fears away.
2 shots 2day made coxy let out secrets in chuvs ears
feelin safer in every way.
6shots 2day withheld coxy's sickness to cross limits..
But look!another glowy morning is here
that'd tk al troubles off coxy's bay
n wud lead him to be btr stronger person in every way.
Keep on my Sky boi!
AnothEr couple of hrs.n things wil shine AgaIN :)

LoVe-crY~

Cracked.
Break down.
Love cry.
Want headhittin strong High.
Fuck those emoticons.
Fuck ur manhood.
Lusty love cry.
Broken water n so time it is.
2hr. In vain.
2G in drain.
I deserve . . my 2C back.
I cud predict thn n thr dat things be over frm now ON.
I saw u breakdown n tumble against rocksolid faith i put in you!

Y do I ? wen u dont even. . . !!

I dont love u jus dat made myself to do so!
U r not d perfect man or love i ought to

love to.
I'm all empty around

You.
U cannot guise yourself wd love-shower wen al u can gime is lil perkin

up at nite!
Seems like an obligation i've put u thru sm burden of lovin Me back way i did to

you.
You made al ur Gud lovin wd d 1 i can never even cm

near about to.
Nor can u be loved d way i loved mine!
Then y v livin under this constant vague

connectivity ..
n bonded by strings f intimacy wen thr is

No actual chemistry!?!

SiNfully SaNe!

i've left the one i loved.
thn loved this who keeps leaving me..
Living bY this constant state of 'dilemma'
now dat heS bacK am I ready to deliever d same amount of vigour n love!?
He knows D 'DepthS of mY sinS'
YET! ready to accept me as SanE being..

here, I sit by my windown glancing at those nytS byGone..
i see nothing beYond hues of BLACKENed FraY. .
yet! i know (may it be if little.. ) WHITENed shine would swaY mE
soon as i'd pass by this GREY!

i cud see them no more as i analyse
today 'Me aganist Myself' glancing by this window !
with DiStorTed thots . .
I fall in n apart !
Numb as i can be: Halt ryt now is all I need !

(March 09)

CapitOL's La-La tale!

Capitol Farewel puttin end to Life long's fun n jovial fairytale. .
Mayb signal frm above to move ahead n make a new livin.
.Fr it al had becm so obsolete. .its always been inherently evolvin Me so major smthin had2 happen to put a stop!!
Gues I'm happy n yeah sorta relieved to hav gotten outa trash i never wanted to be In. .Thrs no intellectal match let alone likes. .
i'v developed my so own taste over d tym n u cant jus put me stuck Wd neverchangin hehehahu stuff. .
Life's sarcasmical joke not a pale mockery of hoverers. .. I'v put ppl to shame Wd such palenes but snob hav i becm inferin new way of painless shame. .
Life's not party of vodka n bitchin about they'v-moved-let-them-live-now(so should You) ppl. . Its bout gettin high Wdout drink n 'house' hittin ur brains to d hilt. ..

Roses are no more necessity of My Garden!
Cant be rose among roses coz i'v cm off ages to be al stern no flowery cactus-who stays uprite against 'usual' water needs n tks sm as per reqd.

Dat nite has exposed with thunder about who's-who .
Even gettin to know so much more Thn wat i'v always been..
This -too involvin -too Gudie side leadin to lil bitchynes has proven fatal fr me tho bringin bout incessant proges since Thn..
It ws a blast graver Thn wat happens in Delhi fr u tend to forget n move on Wd life's constant pace.. but ,mine has put such imprints al around dat happier discussions end up goin bk !
~back on dat Continuous n Unforgetful 'Past Night'!

Identity Crisis!

Fite btw preservin identity n becmin wat others want to c me as. .
Wat kps me comfortable mite not appeal to others..
N wat others want me to c as is definately not me!!
Identity crisis Wud stay till Infinity. ..
Fr i dont wan2 loose my happines fr others n thrs les probability dt they'd accept my Chhavi as happily as it iS. ..

Findin A neverFind!

Findin A neverFind!
Facin a multi faceted unidentified problem. .
be fine soon as i know its cause.
I'm afraid if I'm turnin snob..for I'm already too indifrent Wd ppl/Frns around..
Not bored!!but i hav ppl around yet nobody to talk!!
I'm getin 'desperate' do actualy be in 'proper relation' fr d 1st tym ever.
smthings missin dt i cant figure out ..
or rather 'sm1' to bring back my Smiles..

PaLe JazzY SundaY !

Woke up with hopes a few-to immerse bk into Sea of Blues..
D hurt doesn't Show;surfin thru waves of reminiscence,pain stil growS .
Careless Love n Ceaseless wait. .
Cuttin heart .
curse n hurt . .
Lost faith surge in pain. .

De-Glam!!

Life's moved ->>Glam to Glum. .

Holidays were pack of excitement yr.back n tyms befr dat. .

Always lived to put a smile to my heart. .

Feels so heartless n gotten too indifferent Wd al family Frns let alone strangers who gets No cold looks,for thrz no luk et al fr them!!

I dont live to love but lovE to live..

Solitary Reaper!

Whrz d world!?!

Nah not quantity.. but MY quality- 'world'.. .

Sm1 whose suppose to cheer me up. .Put ablaze my dyin hopes..

My joker Wit whom my smiles wont jus be confined to lips but be gleeful heartful laughter.

Whrs darN! Is my motivational guru to rise me higher fr Every half a step i'd fall. .My strength. .My love!!yeah datS wat i'd say is like glass full of wine waitin to be sipped. .

I'v never felt this empty since 'ages' dat i hav to wait to share my heart out Wd sm1 Spl. .

Maybe it al owes to those who'v made me -used to being such an Unsolitasy reaper lending hands at tyms wen i need none. .

Strange as it feels now dat i do is confine these lil thots or smtym wash them away...Wd tears in wait of sm1 to appear n say -"Wassup teddy bear!jus gime ur hand n let loose from these fears. ."

But,No! I'm never been sorta person who'l sit starin at stars waitin dat Superman Wud Cm to sweep me off my feet to NoMan's land with only me n Him..

Thn y am i actin so desp.frm within. .?

Yea maybe I'm heartful of lovey Chhavi who'l spill out al Love n smiles kept aside along wd al those she deserves. .

'Beings' 'Love' 'Happiness' are sources of my smiles within n eternal satisfaction. .

So I'm never gona be askin fr My share of Love;

for smway or other it'l become YOUrS:)

SilenT ColloquY~

U do things smtyms knowin they r f NO Gud 2u!
U part Wd ppl(closest of al) instantly,even dts wt kept u Happy d most!
U tend to Love sm1 incessantly knowin they wud nvr return u so.. .
U cr fr lil things, be thru al thick n thin yet Depart 1 day to . .
U kp ur life at Stakes So they cud kp off thr worries at Bay.
u stay up niteS awake so they cud slp. .

Tissue Full of LoVE!

'06 to '09!!

We'v made our plans.
V'v shard our dreams..
Nw I'm so close to u..n I sulk!
Tym hs cm wn v dance at fyn tunes of Love..again.I sulk!
Ur evry woman's dream yet I'm facin u to Sulk?
Lovd u in past Thn left u Wd past.is it y nw I sulk?
I'v dreamt al while fr yet anthr KisS..i c it cmin bt harder is hitin d feelin f Sulk!
Seen u on evry channel.heard u in evry song.Ur evrythin I evr wntd!
Nt much hs chngd I stnd at threshold f gvin u up 1c agn thrfore I Sulk!
So,Is It u or sm1 New dats makin me Sulk!?

Verge of loosin Sanity!

Turned down my wings of desire..I'm a woman in Chains !!
Chains few visible a few cracked down. .
Frm freebee to being woman in Chains..
ON verge of Loosin my sanity I'm like No Other woman in Chains .. .
Chains of passion n desires Wdout putin single lock of Love!!
Silver or golden these Chains be Chains. .
I try to raise above these Chains but
by now I'm even Nobody Wdout these ChAiNS. . .

*ReminiscenceS*

Gone is the tym When Nite dint befall until i heard u Slp.
Gone r my fearles days wen u wer jus a cal away wn i faild.
Gone is dt tym wn fite turnd to smiles Wd a blink of ur tales.
Gone is d rush to meet u every fortnyt;strength is wt u've givn me in factuality Wd fortnightly touch of ur Sensuality.
I miss dt strength whch rose Wd every word of ur Solace.
Lost r d wayS i travld frm septmber to May for i'v movd on frm path f exuberance to Solemn!
Brokn r ur protectiv boundries whch survivd me frm lil storm in my life..
Gone is D momnt f madnes when 'Me' s wt u Cravd!
Nw dt gone is U Ths dark nyts pasin thru grey wud nvr flicker Wd mornin fr evn bfre I'l realize its gona be anthr doomsday Wdout u,I'L mould within d iner layrs of my Insane demise.

For days wud gloom as tym wud stp knwin thr wud be no mre f u....

one who lit up my Nyts lik mrnin shine n thr wud b no1 2say- 'baby!Rise n shine fr anthr dy hs begun n thngs b jus fyn!'
I sit here n write ths Wdout A tear fr ds tym thrs noone to Chang it in Smile so i cud turn arond 2slp wdout Fear!